Creating LGBTQ+ Support and Discussion Groups for Students and Parents

step further in devising ways to connect to the LGBTQ+ folks, such as discussion groups for both students and parents.

To be completely honest, after 15 years as a school counselor, I thought about leaving the profession last year. I felt like I was working endlessly and, at times, fruitlessly, for months on end and asked myself, “Can I sustain this amount of stress and continue to be a school counselor for 10 more years?” The answer to this question was relatively simple. NO if I continued to work and live the way I was, and YES if I took better care of myself.

Rainbow Connection

The GLSEN 2019 National School Climate Survey states that students at a school with a GSA feel more strongly that they belong at school (2019 National School Climate Survey Infographics, n.d.)

Having a GSA at an international school is a hugely important step to ensuring that students have a space to gather, create community, and discuss topics relevant to their lived experiences. GSA’s typically have students who identify as somewhere along the LGBTQIA+ spectrum as well as allies and those who are questioning. Another, slightly similar option to promote belonging is to create a discussion or support group specifically for those who identify as LGBTQ+.

Rainbow Connection is the name of the group that I run for high school students. We meet once a week in a quiet space, and currently have 10 students participating. The group is entirely confidential, and only the HS counseling team knows which students are in the group. We focus on a variety of conversation topics, ranging from coming out to understanding gender identity/sexual identity, as well as navigating life after high school as an LGBTQ young adult. An example of the form that I use to start the group is here: Rainbow Connection participation form

This group is not intended for allies, as it focuses on the multitude of factors that impact the lives of adolescent queer kids. Often students will lead the group on a topic of their choosing, which centers their experiences. Last week we had a student present on queer storylines in horror movies, which was timely because of Halloween, and also incredibly insightful to hear directly from students as to what media they are watching and thinking about. We’ve also invited a few openly queer faculty members to share their stories with the students, which is a powerful way for them to connect with their teachers in a safer space.

Discussion groups for parents of children who identify as LGBTQ+

Another way to promote belonging and inclusion is to invite parents to the conversation table. This past week, one counselor from each division hosted an optional evening event for parents who have children who identify somewhere along the LGBTQ+

spectrum. Parents are able to provide one another with resources, share their frustrations about dealing with the community “gossip” about their child being queer or trans, and gain support in how to best navigate their child’s coming out or transition journey. One popular topic was how to “keep pace” with a child as they become more comfortable with sharing their identity with family members. We explore ways that parents can be ready to balance their own feelings about their child’s identity with also being a buffer for the children as they slowly share their identity with family members and friends.

Counselors are available to hold the space for parents, but ultimately the goal of the discussion group is for parents to support one another. We have found this to be a vital space for resource and ideas-sharing, especially as we live in a country where LGBTQ folks do not have legal protections, nor are there ample resources for adolescents who need gender-affirming care.

Holding space

The bottom line is that supporting LGBTQ+ students will look a bit different depending on the cultural or social context. The implementation of support and discussion groups are great additions to schools that are exploring other ways to hold space for and with LGBTQ folks. We cannot do this work alone, so sharing ideas about other areas of support is essential to the work we do as counselors. Let’s keep the conversation going.